Staring at the Blank TV Screen

Have been staring at the blank TV screen for about 20 minutes. I only see my reflection in it, since it's about 5am in the morning and thoughts run like a freight train through my head. I forgot what it was like to meditate and this is it -let your thoughts run and deal with them. It's aggravating me right now like never before, (I used to meditate before but I wasn't dealing with starting a new MA program at that time, so it was much more bearable.) I hate it. I am highly impatient and want it to end and go on with my life. I count the minutes, seconds until the 20 minutes are over. I cheat and avert my eyes to my candle, which is a respite. I cheat and instead of staring 20 minutes, I stare for about 15. Actually, more like 10. In all honesty, a torturous exercise at this moment in my life, as susceptible as I am and as sleepless as I have been lately.